Sufficient

Each time I sit down to write, I feel the burden of the thoughts I carry about in my head. It’s as though words cannot adequately relate the matters of the heart. And so, each time I open up a new Word document, I stare at the page and ponder how to express these elusive thoughts before closing my laptop in disgust.
The truth is, life is meant to be experienced. And sometimes experiences cannot be expressed.
How can you explain the joy of seeing three of your campers recommit their lives to the Lord?
How best describe the darkness of a night alone in an apartment in the middle of the city with only the neighbors blaring Spanish music to keep you company?
How might you record the awesome presence of God as you open up a devotional time with no idea what to say and having God fill your mouth with His words?
How can you write on the agonies of knowing your family and friends are experiencing the grief of losing a friend, father, and husband while you live over 700 miles away?
How can you express the almost magical motherly joy of having an 11 year old girl curl up beside you because she’s cold?
And how on earth do you document the change in a girl’s eyes as she goes from spiritually hardened to spiritually softened?
This month has been too extraordinary to put into words. My heart is filled to the top with emotions and above all, the peace of God.
But one thing keeps coming back to me as I reflect on this past month.
God is adequate.
This is not some cliché answer to all life’s problems.
No. This is the adequacy that drives you to the end of yourself (trust me, it’s a short drive) and straight into the fullness and all-sufficiency of God.
This is the magnitude of God. This is the enormity and power of a God who works through broken people who lean on Him.

Did I want to be a counselor at a girls’ camp this past week? Honestly, not really. It was something one of my friends asked me to do in her stead and I felt more obligation than willingness. But early on in the week, I realized my desperate need for God to be sufficient in love for my campers.
Did God provide His love? You bet! And did my campers sense His love? Absolutely. And did I have a good week? No. It was more than good. It was incredible! But it wouldn’t have been without God’s sufficient love.

Did I want my family friend to pass away? Of course not! I prayed for miracles and invoked many of my friends to pray with me. But, as he traded this world for a heavenly one, God traded our grief for a peace that I don’t understand. It’s still not easy for me being this far away from home, but I can sense God’s love and sufficiency carrying me through, and I know that he’s carrying the family through, too.

I can’t help but think of the verse in 2 Corinthians. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9, ESV).
God loves broken people. When we fall before Him, realizing our inadequacies, He can display His sufficiency through us.